a shared moment

some time ago i was given a movie titled "chasing amy".. person who gave it to me referred to it as some teenage movie if i remember correctly and therefore i always postponed watching it.. but today i felt like i could use some crappy movie all about getting layd and so on.. but it turned out to be a movie i should have seen a long time ago.. or maybe if i had seen it long time ago it wouldn’t had influenced me like it did tonight.. maybe other don’t find the things in that movie i did but that supposed to be the point – to relate to each movie from your own personal experience and let no-one tell you that a movie sucks or is "the best movie" before you haven’t seen it yourself..
now why i thought i should have seen this movie a long time ago is because of a speech in there given by the main character, Holden.. it’s rather long, but still i’m copying it th here:
I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I’m sure that’s what you’ll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t, I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship – no pun intended – but I had to say it, because I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can’t hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn’t allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I’ll accept that. But I know… I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that – and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn’t another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I’m with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can’t deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I’m forever changed because of who you are and what you’ve meant to me, which – while I do appreciate it – I’d never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

it’s something i have always known in my head, but always found it impossible to tell.. or maybe the idea of saying these things out seemed so absurd to me that i never gave it a much thought.. i also might have known that it’ll result like in the movie except the running back and making out in the rain part.. and i know from my very own multiple experience that it’s very hard to remain "friends" with someone whom you have been close with.. this movie could have taught me to be more tolerant about others..
the movie itself is great.. gotta love Kevin Smith.. after seeing Dogma and now Chasing Amy, "Clerks" and "Mallrats" and "Jay and Silent Bob strike back" are very next in my list.. it’s great how he has written himself into those movies.. not saying much or nothing at all, but when he does then he hits it hard.. Ben Affleck seems to be his main man and he managed to put even Matt Damon into this one..
and i haven’t heard anything that stupid as the idea Holden comes up with in the end of the movie..


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