pretend to say goodbye

i saw something really sad today.. i have already seen my share of conscripts, who try to get away from serving their compulsory time.. who has bad knees, another is a rockstar, with a tendency to wet his bed, and so on.. one russian guy from my platoon went to the sickbay and demanded to see a shrink.. doctors decided that he didn’t need one and signed him out after a week or so.. went to pick him up this morning and he refused to change into uniform.. the chaplan tried to convince him, but the guy kept sobbing that he wants to see a shrink and how bad it is in the unit and again that he wants to see the shrink.. probably the most pathetic sight i have ever seen.. almost a full grown man shaking and sobbing like a 5-year old when mommy leaves him alone in the kindergarten for the first time.. i basically tired of that bullshit pretty quickly and went on to work with those, who want to learn and achive something.. yes he is a russian and speaks a very little estonian, but he’s not the only one in our unit and the others don’t cry for their mommy.. i and the platoonleader don’t have a tendency just to yell at people like they used some years ago.. i have to use loud voice so all the 47 little fuckers can hear me.. fuck that.. my dad was in russian army for two years and nobody cared there if you could understand or not.. the butt of a rifle made you understand very quickly.. and the doctors have gotten soft too.. few years ago they kicked out evrybody who wasn’t really sick.. and now they give exemtions from singing.. and of course it’s tough (not really actually) and causes stress but it’s the freakin army.. if your parent aren’t capable of turning you into a man then we have to do our best.. your mommy don’t bring tea and cakes to your bed at sunday morning.. and now were told that we have to look after him specially.. fuck that.. i have 46 other guys to watch after and they don’t go crying after mommy when i have to raise my voice.. and of course when they get out after the time is done or they have managed to convince some doctor that they really are worthless piece of shit, those sickest guys are suddenly the biggest fucking war-heroes there can be.. i’ll probably flip when i hear some dude bragging somewhere how cleverly he conned "those army dudes and doctors"
and it’s my birthday today so raise one for me too.. thanks to all who remember..

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